Why we should not give children participation trophies...

Grant Foray

I recall countless moments in athletics where the losing children received participation trophies for their efforts. One memory that distinctly stands out to me was during a karate tournament I participated in. It had 30 competitors, and all 27 competitors who did not place in 1st, 2nd or 3rd, still received participation trophies. Vividly, I remember certain kids who received participation trophies were filled with excitement, overjoyed. 

Just like anyone, throughout my athletic journey I have had amazing victories, and devastating defeats. I believe that handling defeat is one of the most important life skills for people to develop. Giving out participation awards lessens the blow of the defeat, takes out the joy of victory and creates entitlement in young children playing sports. 

Defeat is an inevitable aspect of life. No matter how skilled you are in life, you will face intense moments of adversity, heartbreak, failure etc. I believe that it is these moments in life that truly make or break you. It is our responsibility as adults to prepare children for these inevitable moments of devastation, and to teach them how to grow from them. The answer to preparing kids for defeat is not to lessen the blow of defeat, but rather to let them experience the full blow of defeat and help them cope with it. By giving participation awards to children, you lessen the blow of defeat. The child walks away with something which lessens the blow. That child is going to be at a disadvantage later in life because when he or she faces inevitable moments of devastation it will completely overwhelm them. If you don’t give a child a participation trophy they will most likely cry of feel upset, but experiencing these feelings early on will better prepare them for the moments of significant losses that await them. A child that experiences the feelings of loss early on in life will be better prepared for the inevitable intense moments of loss later in life.   

Giving participation awards to children also lessens the feelings of victory that accompany success. The reason success in life feels so good is because of how awful the feelings of defeat feel as well as the work that we put in to succeed. Imagine a life in which you succeeded and achieved anything you ever wanted regardless of your efforts. Your successes would have no meaning because it did not cost you anything. The reason moments of success, happiness, love etc. feel so good in life is because of the work that is required to achieve these moments as well as the pain one feels during moments of heartbreak, failure, loss etc. Words cannot describe how great it feels to get beaten down in life and then rise up to new heights. When you give participation awards to children, you discredit the children who succeed. By making something overly abundant, you lower its value. Therefore, when you make trophies overly abundant, you lower the value of the trophies. Winning trophies are not the same as participation trophies, however the existence of participation trophies takes strips value away from the winning trophies. Although success isn’t defined by material things, children are greatly impacted by the message’s society sends them, and thus it is very likely you will decrease the feelings of happiness and joy among children who succeed. 

Giving participation trophies to children will also create a sense of entitlement among them. One of the most important hard to swallow life lessons is that the world does not owe you anything. Many people believe they are entitled to a good job, social connections, status etc. In life, you have to earn true success; you should never expect anything too be given to you. When we as a society give children awards no matter what they accomplish, in a way we are telling them at a young age that they deserve something regardless of the effort or performance they put forth. We condition them to expect the world to give them things regardless of what they do. This is simply not representative of life. The moment when these children do not get anything or are reprimanded in life they will not be prepared. Entitled children will be in for a rude awakening. We must do everything in our power as a society to prevent entitled children, and giving participation trophies encourages entitlement.

Many Adults who give children participation trophies do it because they do not want to hurt the child’s feelings. However, life does not care if it hurts your feelings. Your feelings will be hurt countless times throughout your existence, it is simply inevitable. The correct approach is not to attempt to prevent children from getting their feelings hurt, but rather to allow them to experience getting their feelings hurt and to learn from these experiences. If we as a society can create children who can handle and grow from negative emotions and experiences, they will be more likely to become adults who can successfully overcome the challenges of the future. It is time we as a society ditch the participation trophies as well as the approach of doing everything in our power not to hurt the feelings of children. It is time to allow them to experience the pain of today, so they can overcome the pain of tomorrow.